Hi everyone! I am this close to being DONE with uni FOREVER (unless I decide to take some more courses in future, which I might well do, there's a nice Creative Writing one I've got my eye on) so I'm celebrating with an update. You may recall that last time, the challenge rolled was for the eldest fertile female sim to contract baby-rabies and try to shag all the walkby's. I don't actually have any fertile female sims because I took out InTeen a while ago, but I do have same-sex pregnancy mods. A quick look at everyone's ages confirmed that with ten days until elderhood, that dubious honour went to Austria, which means he's granted temporary immunity from death. Unless the ghosts get him. Because I haven't had a ghost death yet.
So I opened up the lot and the manmeat started walking past at once.
Lots of manmeat.
I decided I didn't want the paperboy's baby dick, but there's plenty more where that came from.
I'm not joking, this is more men than you can shake a stick at and it's only been one game hour.
Austria: Hello handsome.
Mailman: Oh my God, I've finally been noticed.
Holy shit, guys, slow down! Austria's not that young any more!
So, uh, Austria's relationship with the mailman was pretty low - in fact, all his relationships are low, thanks to that mindwipe from Slovenia a few weeks back, so I moved on to Denmark, because they knew each other a little bit better. Plus I'd rather have Austria boff the other nations than the NPCs. Buuuuuuut then I thought "ten days isn't that long really, will he still be fertile by Friday? I'd better have him drink that cowplant milk." And then as soon as he'd done that, Denmark strolled right in there and got eaten. SIGH.
NPC dick it is.
Austria: So... have you cleaned my bedroom?
Butler: Yes sir, all done sir.
Austria: Well, I'm very particular. So I think we should go and check your handiwork. Together.
Oooh, cancel that, this is a much more exciting prospect.
Much to my annoyance, it was a full moon and Switzerland spent the entire night prowling around, all territorial. I know I'm probably not going to be able to keep Austria's cheating a secret for long, but I'm going to try.
Switzerland isn't the only thing prowling around tonight. You'd think the household would be used to the ghost scares by now.
Austrada: They're stealthy.
You two better not be making any more babies!
Austria: Look, nobody else was willing and I want to get laid. I thought that was the point of this challenge.
With walkbys! Not your husband!
So Austria tries his charms on the mailman again.
Austria: Want to make some magic with me?
Oooh, new plan - America, fuck yeah!
I've given Austria a large dose of Love Potion, and the hearts are flying.
But things just aren't progressing as quickly as I'd like... so I decided to send them on a date.
Austria: A toast! To-
Spain: YOU CHEATING SWINE!
Austria: What the hell!? I've never even met you!
Poland: Could you like, go away? This bed's taken.
I admit it, I was desperate at this point. It had been two days and the Woohoo options just won't showing up for anyone, so I used ACR's Casual/Woohoo option to get them into bed.
Back home, the ghosts are out and about.
Oh and look who else is out and about!
Spain: I'm only here because I have to see you for Eurovision stuff.
Austria: Whatever, I don't care.
Next day brings Service Sim walkbys again, which is a tad annoying.
But then my other option is Spain.
So I figured trying to woo the postman from a 10/100 relationship is probably a better bet than trying to woo Spain from a -97/100 furious one.
It doesn't help that Austria really resents being told to cheat. I know it's OOC, but that doesn't mean I want him to actually acknowledge that.
Austria: Is a happy marriage too much to ask for?
Have you not been reading?
Austria: I'm still not interested.
Shut up and flirt.
Austria: Look, here's your Eurovision bribe back. Now either fuck me or fuck off.
We interrupt this scene to bring you morning sickness. Enjoy!
Spain: Whoa, did you even brush your teeth? That's nasty.
Ugh, fine. If Spain won't put out, this guy will have to do.
Austria: A toast!
And a photobooth quickie!
Huh, Switzerland doesn't look too happy, I wonder if he suspects anything?
Switzerland: Sorry, can we hurry up? I need to groom my fur.
Austria: Need a little help with that grooming?
I wouldn't want to be the person who has to clean out the hot tub filter.
Liechenstein: How could you!?
Austria: Wait, what?
Amnesia strikes again, I guess.
But growing a baby put an enormous strain on his motives and he passed out halfway to the bed.
A quick snooze soon fixed that though.
Austria: Gosh, it's cold out here. Would you like to come inside and warm up?
Hong Kong: Somehow I didn't think warming up would involve this little clothing.
Austria: Well how about we get under the covers then?
Once Hong Kong's been kicked to the kerb, I get Austria to work on his relationship with the butler. If I'm getting desperate one day, they can woohoo.
Thankfully nobody else is paying the slightest bit of attention to Austria's shenanigans, opting to take part in an epic kicky bag contest in the kitchen.
Austria: So hey, when do you get off?
Butler: In the next few hours if I get lucky.
Kent: How very dare you!
Alas, all they could do was kiss and cuddle, and the ACR menu wasn't showing, probably because of the butler's Service Sim status, so nobody got lucky.
Weren't you just at Londoste?
Kent: I followed him home. But all the gnomes and bins are fenced in.
Is that a zombie or a child with frostbite?
Switzerland: None of your damn business.
Outside, Switzia torments Lemon with the cat toy.
And inside, Austria has finally learned how to make snapdragons! Hooray!
It's also kicking-out time for the teens.
Cania: Bye bro! Have fun at college.
Ottawa: You know you're coming along in the next taxi, right?
So now Switzia's got the house to herself. Well, herself and the random people who invite themselves in.
America: Listen to this awesome beat! I could totally be in your Eurovision contest! Hand me some matches, I can set the piano on fire too!
I then realised the grocery truck was just sitting there.
Driver: Shhh. I'm stealing their wifi.
I forced an error and deleted the truck, only to find her passed out on the floor instead.
Slovenia: Not my problem.
Back to Austria. He finally managed to bang the butler.
Back home though-
Austria: I thought those plants were supposed to stop the pain!
Butler: Wow, that was fast, we just got back half an hour ago.
It's a boy! I decided not to go with the name-smash names for babies from this challenge (so Switzerland won't get suspicious) so as Austria was the host of this years Eurovision Song Contest, I decided to name the kid after the winner. Which actually hadn't aired at this point, so his name is just 'Eurovision'.
Butler: Congratulations on our baby.
Nobody tell him.
Switzerland doesn't have much to do right now, so I made him toilet train the cat.
Switzerland: If Russia can train a dog to fly a spacecraft, I can train a cat to use a toilet.
I don't think the dogs actually flew the spacecrafts, but good luck!
I also left Slovenia to his own devices and I guess he hasn't learnt his lesson about telescopes.
Slovenia: They said they'd keep in touch.
Did I mention that Switzerland's LTW is to become head of SCIA? The job hasn't shown up yet, and then of course, the PC died.
Switzerland: I have no intention of doing the same.
I think these two like each other better than the actual adults.
Switzia: Well yeah, that's because we've met the adults.
Next day, and the only man to show up is this townie. And I use the word 'man' loosely because he's actually a teenager and as this isn't TS4, with its adult-teens, hitting on him feels weird and creepy.
Thank goodness for Poland.
Austria: You have no idea how happy I am to see you.
Handy censor bar.
Slovakia: Get a room.
I decided to cure Slovenia. He wasn't really using his magic powers anywhere.
Slovenia: Too many muggles.
Sim logic - Switzia can puff on bubbles all day long, but God forbid she get cold doing it.
And then I heard screaming and yelling and paused just in time to see this very impressive cloud of smoke. I'm guessing the lift broke?
Slovenia: I've changed my mind, I want my magic teleportation powers back so I never have to step in that deathtrap again.
Greece: Did somebody say 'death'?
I want to comment on how inappropriate it is for them to be doing that in the house where anyone can catch them, but I'm distracted by the manky toilet.
Poland: Like, who do think we've got our eyes closed?
Serbia: I'll close 'em permanently.
Switzia found one of the bricks Austrada made before he left for college and it's now her best friend.
Last day! And much to my annoyance, all the walkbys were female. At least three went past before I thought to start screencapping them as evidence.
Russia: Don't mind me, I'm just checking the gnomes.
Oh yay, a dude-ah shit, it's a dude who despises Austria.
Lichtenstein: No, no, I love Austria. I want to follow his example. And set his fucking piano on fire.
Austria: I'm sorry for that thing I did.
Lichtenstein: You mean, cheating on me?
Austria: I cheated on you?
Lichtenstein: Don't deny it, you're popping right now.
Which reminds me, it's time for baby Eurovision to grow up and get a new name. In honour of Sweden's win, he shall now be called Hero, which is really rather appropriate considering who his daddy is.
Buuuuuut I think I'm gonna end the challenge here. This is a lost cause. But Austria did get laid five days out of seven (six if you count the first day when he banged his husband) AND managed to keep his marriage intact, so overall I'd say it was a success.
Liechtenstein: Uh, I'm gonna go now anyway. I have to shower.
Slovenia: Ghosts get you? It happens here, you get used to it.
And here's little Hero, making it his motto that when life gives you Lemon, steal her bed.
Time for a new challenge! And it would appear that next time, Switzerland will be losing his neutrality. Until then, thanks for reading!
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