Well, it's raining here in Britain, so I'm celebrating international stereotypes with the next update of It's A Small World, a 'you suck at parenting' challenge. Last time, France's network of lovers began to unravel when Canada, Belarus and England caught him dating other people. Canada started screwing Liechtenstein when Belgium found herself forced to work out by the campus coach and Seychelles got knocked up.
France's quest for 20 lovers is picking up speed.
Happily Prof. Branka doesn't think to question why some woman is leaving flowers at her boyfriend's dorm, but then again, she didn't question it when that girl slapped him outside the restaurant and that other guy slapped him in the kitchen.
Prussia: Oh France, my love... even when we're apart, I feel your presence nearby,
Oh. Looks like Prof. Branka's not the only oblivious one here.
Mixed messages much?
Seychelles: Ooh! All that mac and cheese and chilli's made me fat. I hope the coach doesn't see this.
I think you're safe. From him, anyway.
Thank you, SimCity Astronomy Club.
France: Whatcha doing?
Canada: Nothing! Talking about books, that's all.
France: I can find better ones to put you in the mood than 50 Shades Of Grey, if you want.
Belgium: Can I hear splashing?
Belgium: Must be my imagination.
Geez, what is with France's dates? Is this because he's not taking you all to restaurants any more?
You are a pig.
Canada: And I'm gonna pork her!
Ugh. Total pig. Hope you get caught.
Sadly Liechtenstein's otherwise occupied.
Despite her gestating Switzerspawn, England and Seychelles still like to hang out together and watch each other play SSX3. Aww.
Don't get too comfortable.
'Cause it's baby time!
Seychelles: Yay, baby!
What? What? WHAT?!?
Belgium: Why is your baby blue?
Ah, that would be my fault. I installed some alien skintones a while go and didn't realise they were geneticised. Anyway, it's just the one baby, a little girl with blue skin and green eyes. Her name's
When he's not fighting people, Switzerland is pretty good at helping take care of his alien spawn.
Canada: Catch me, Liechtenstein!
Canada: Hey bro! Have I told you how I'm juggling two hot babes?
America: Liechtenstein's just using you to get back at Switzerland and Belgium doesn't care. And they both think you're me anyway.
Canada: BOO HOO HOO THAT WAS UNCALLED FOR!
Peeping on the Pimp?
England: OH GOD MY EYES.
Serves you right.
In all fairness, Seychelles did have her reasons for not dong so well. And Liechtenstein... OK, Liechtenstein has no excuse.
Turns out they didn't have enough skills to pass, so as soon as Liechtenstein recovers, France drags her over to the chessboard for intense logic-ing.
France: Watch out, I'm going to mate you in about five moves.
Liechtenstein: Try it, pervert, and I'll cram the chessboard up your arse.
France: I... I didn't mean it like that, honest!
Oh what's this?! Is Canada developing a conscience?!
Canada: For the last time, my name is not America!
Belgium: Wait, what, it isn't?! Then who are you?
Belgium: Never heard of you.
Liechtenstein's heard of him.
Liechtenstein: I'm thinking of getting it tattooed on me.
Liechtenstein: So I won't keep having to check his underpants for his name.
Moving onwards, it's
England: WOO SWITZERCHELLES DAMN, IS FRANCE EVER UGLY!
Aww, she's got pigtails just like her mummy used to have.
Seychelles does occasionally make an attempt at parenting her daughter...
...But she's often left to take care of herself while France tries to help her pass class. Thank goodness for pet bowls.
Llama: VO GERBITS.
Seychelles: I'm dreaming. Or hallucinating.
Seychelles: Shh, don't spoil my fantasy.
The skilling continues.
Liechtenstein: I fucking hate karaoke.
I don't care. There's precious little else that builds charisma.
France: Hey! How are you? I've got a small window in my schedule, wanna quick date?
That looks dangerous.
France: So, um... how can I say this? I really don't feel comfortable dating you in public because... because I'm scared of your brother, yes, that's right. Wanna come back to my place and carry on?
Ukraine: Uh, no, no thanks.
Liechtenstein: DON'T TOUCH ME!
No idea what brought that on.
Oh goodness! Did you two-
England: No. He crawled in while I was sleeping.
America: I WATCHED A SCARY MOVIE, OK.
OK, just know that you've just crushed my dreams.
England: Mine too.
That's... not your baby.
Liechtenstein: Wait till I'm alone with her, then we'll talk.
But finally, finally, Seychelles and Liechtenstein gain enough skills to pass the semester, so France resumes his quest for lots of love. With his other teacher.
Note that he has zero interest in his real OTH.
Did you know toddlers can watch fish? Me neither.
How have you not been caught yet?
Canada: Turns out being invisible has it's uses.
Belgium: WHOA, where did he go?!
Canada: And sometimes it's a pain in the ass.
Then I discovered the BEST thing - Join Study Group.
STUDY PARTY ACTIVATE. And the best thing is, France can wander off and everyone else will continue to study until their motives get too low.
Switzerchelles is still hanging around, occasionally snatching at the scraps of attention her parents occasionally toss her way. Because France ain't gonna do it, he did his toddler duty back at the start of this challenge.
And then Lily got old. :(
THAT BLASTED COACH. I hate him, he queuestomps all over Belgium's queue and makes her work out until her motives drop. Not even the 'go to class' queue action stops it, so she keeps missing class because of him.
Not to mention that he's obviously a giant pervert. I mean, just look at that view he's getting.
Coach: That's it girl, move that body! Clench those thighs! I'll be watching you! Always watching!
Gross gross gross. I'm half tempted to have France influence him to serve a meal in the hope that he sets himself on fire.
Despite their oops baby, these two are still at it every chance they get.
Another term over and done with.
France celebrates in the usual fashi-uh, wait a second, who's in there? I haven't told you to invite anyone over.
Canada: SHRIEK! HOW COULD YOU, BELGIUM!
My thoughts exactly, Canada. Until next time!